I'm having a tough week. I'm feeling overwhelmed, depressed, tired, lonely and hopeless. It hasn't been a great few days. I have zero motivation on eating healthy and exercising. My body has been all messed up since I went off the pill last month, my doctors won't listen to me or test me so I have found a new ob/gyn and also a new PCP, both of whom I will see in July. I also called my old therapist and have an appointment with her next week, which just knowing I have the appointment has lifted my spirits a bit today.
I feel like nothing comes easily for me, that I have to essentially fight for what I need or want. I have fought for every single pound I have lost, I have to fight to get doctors to listen to me, I know there is something wrong with my hormones which is why my body is going haywire, I have to fight to have a relationship with my inlaws that doesn't make me completely crazy, I have to fight for every single penny to make our budget work. I'm just sick of fighting. I feel like all the fight has left me this week.
I need new coping skills. My oldest and dearest coping skill is over-eating. I can't/shouldn't do that anymore. Then I started shopping once I got my band, and while we are back on track, it's not something I can do all the time. Marc & I are tentatively planning a January vacation. As long as no financial disaster happens between now and then, we should be able to squirrel the money away. I think I need something to look forward to and to plan. Stop obsessing over my weight loss (or lack of) and having a baby. Just focus on something else for awhile.
I know things will get better, they always do. I'm just not feeling very optimistic right now. I've done awful with my eating choices this week. Just awful. I act like I still don't have 100+lbs to lose. I keep telling myself that Saturday morning is going to be my reboot day. I just hope I wake up Saturday and have a good day so I can get through just one day making the right eating choices so that will propel me back on track.
*Fingers Crossed*
10 comments:
So sorry to hear you're going through a rough patch. It sounds like you're doing the right things to get to a better place. Hopefully Saturday will be a bright day for you... but why wait til then? I know if I tell myself that such and such day will be a restart I ALWAYS find excuses to delay the restart day. Now I chose to focus on the immediate, rather than the future. What can I do right now, this day, to help me get back on track? Often its not even making good food choices for a whole day... but for a single meal. Sometimes that's all I can do. Then when the next meal comes around, same thing. One bite, one meal, one choice at a time... they add up to good things. Sorry for turning my comment into a mini post, lol.
Hi Leslie, you have every right to vent dear. The thing you have to keep in mind is you have lost so much weight already! Perhaps reviewing what worked for you originally may help again. Also seeing the new dr will help too. Best of luck and keep us posted.
I'm sorry you're feeling down! I know that things can get really hard sometimes and it makes it even harder when you can't run to your faithful friend, food! I'm sure you already know this, but try and remember what it was like before you started losing weight and maybe look back at some old pictures. Try and think about how far you've come already to try and find the motivation! Tomorrow is a new day and you can do it!
All of us out here in band land are here for you. I can certainly relate to how you are feeling. I have had more than my share of depression in my time. We all have those days and/or weeks. Very glad you're going to see your therapist. Just focus on getting to that appointment. When I have the WORST I can't get through this kind of days, I know that if I sleep it off, tomorrow has the chance to be better. It WILL eventually pass. Just know that and you'll get through it. Perspective is key to so much of it. Life is a gift and some days you hate it and its hard and some days you embrace it and rise to the challenge. Stick with it. We're here with you.
((GIANT HUGS))
I am right there with you right now. I need a kick in the ass, I need a mental break, I need new coping skills, blah blah blah... AHHH.
Leslie...I'm sorry to hear you are not feeling your best. However, you have worked extremely hard at losing weight and eating right. It may be time for a mini break. You can still do all that you need to do, but don't obsess over it.
Everything is going to fall into place for you. The baby, the weight, the finances. Don't worry.
Sending you hugs!!
(((((Leslie)))) Sweetie, nothing in life worth having comes easy. Just know that everything will be worth it in the end when you have exactly what you want.
And know that you aren't alone. I've had the same feelings and over the last 2 years have had to (and am still) learn(ing) how to deal with my emotions. It's SO hard. I wish more people were as honest about it as you are.
Take good care of yourself. And anytime you need a boost, just look at that one special photo I made for you and see the amazing transformation you've made.
Love you, girl. Hope it gets better. I know it will! :) Thanks for posting about it, we'll all lift you up anytime you need someone to be there, I'm here for you. Feel free to text me (my number is on FB), or e-mail, anything. :)
I am trying to find the words to give you a lift something to help make it feel better, then I looked up at your comments and responses and wow look at the wonderful people who are behind you and the motivation they want to give you..... You mean a great deal to a lot of people and I am another who is here for you and cheering you on. You have done so much and I know this isnt your end. Keep plugging it will turn around. Chin up...
I am just getting around to reading blogs this morning so forgive the lateness my dear!
I am sorry you are feeling down in the dumps! I am so flipping proud of you that you do actually fight. Do you know how many people would give up with bumps in the road?? You never do! 100 lbs is more then most people lose at all so never think of that as a failure.
You are allowed to have down days..even weeks. But stand tall and keep fighting!
As far as baby talk. I hear you, know what you feel, and wish for once things would go my way! I have an appointment in July too. I took myself off BC not on purpose but other then feeling a little off I feel 100 times better!!
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