I think I have identified my biggest struggle with the band.
Moderation vs. Perfection
Somehow I have got it in my head that in order to lose weight I have to be perfect. I am not perfect, I don't do well when I deprive myself of certain foods. I look at other banders out there who didn't eat any of those things that we shouldn't until they reached maintenance. I wonder how the heck they did that? Because I can't. For example....I have this internal struggle going on that if I have ice cream than I'm automatically bad, even if I have one serving or one of those Skinny Cow ice creams. Then if I'm already bad then why not eat those chicken fingers, french fries and oh to top it off some cheesecake.
Now I'm not saying anything against those banders who can give up things, man I wish I could. Life would be easier! I have never, in the two years that I have had the band been able to strike the balance between moderation and feeling that I have to eat perfectly to lose weight. I'm not sure how to change this but I know it's something I need to work on.
It's not like I think I'm perfect, I am far far far from perfect so why do I think I have to eat perfectly? My portion control is my biggest problem. I have issues with the volume of food I eat. I feel if it is not a "big" serving than I am depriving myself. Or I have to bring extra food for my workday because apparently I feel like I will starve.
I hate these things about myself and I want them to go away. I am seeing my fill today as a way to "re-boot" my band and my mind. I am also going to ask my clinic for another copy of the nutrional information they gave us at our very first appointments, I think my binder was victim to one of my cleaning purges. I want to succeed. I want to show my family and friends that the band does work and most importantly I do NOT want to become a failing statistic. I don't want to be the person that is pointed to for band failure.
So my plan for today and tomorrow is this....
Today
*Fill @ 2PM
*Go to hospital to pick up lab orders for a fertility test that Marc needs
*Post Office to mail ebay items
*Whole Foods - pick up soup for tonight's dinner and tomorrow's lunch
*Pick up Marc from work
*Go Home
*Eat soup for dinner
*Therapy appointment @ 6PM
Tomorrow
*Walk for 30 minutes before work
*Work 8 - 4:30
*Greek Yogurt for breakfast
*Soup for lunch
*Cottage cheese for snack
*Dinner following bander basics!
My clinic only has us be on liquids for the rest of the day after a fill but I'm going to extend that a bit. I'm hoping for a fill on the aggressive side so I think soup for lunch will be wise at work tomorrow and then try some solid protein for dinner. I'm feeling good about this plan. I really want to lose 60lbs before Disney in January, plus I want that spending money!! I was thrown for a loop this last month and now I need to take charge again.
Some quotes I found on perfection, I think I need to print these out. Do you think tattooing on my forehead is a bit extreme??
“Perfectionism doesn’t make you feel perfect. It makes you feel inadequate.” ~Maria Shriver
“You don’t have to be perfect in order to be successful.” ~Anonymous
“Don’t wait until everything is just right. It will never be perfect. There will always be challenges, obstacles and less than perfect conditions. So what. Get started now. With each step you take, you will grow stronger and stronger, more and more skilled, more and more self-confident and more and more successful.” ~Mark Victor Hansen
“Strive for excellence, not perfection, because we don’t live in a perfect world.” ~Joyce Meyer
12 comments:
First off - go look at your stats and photos !! You have done great with the band !! I love your plan (always good to have a plan) and that you are going to reboot your mind :)
you have done very good so far and I think trying to get your mind out of the all or nothing mentality is good!
The thing that has helped me through the process of "Moderation not Perfection" has been to plan for my snacks. I don't see any food as bad. I allow myself anything I want, but only when I've planned for it. I also don't keep trigger foods in my house. I also weigh and measure everything. If I eat my portion and I want more, I will wait 30 mins and have more if I want it. I almost never do. I bet the fill will help you too Leslie. We're here with you lady!
I second what Cat said. :)
I also agree with Cat. I'm not super good at measuring though, but I do know I'm eating at least half if not less than half of what i was eating before.. but mostly the same stuff. I'm with you on not being good with deprivation. I figure if I have a little thing of frozen yogurt, I'm still not having a Large Mint Oreo Blizzard like i would have been before. And I still have my sweet fix. Moderation for me is much better than cutting anything out.
Moderation is definitely a hard thing for overweight people to learn. We tend to have "all or nothing" mentalities.
I focus on my calories. If I can fit it in and I truly WANT it...I eat it. In fact, sometimes when it doesn't fit but I really WANT it, I will eat it. The trick is to make that the exception.
To be honest, that is why I work out so much. I am not so great about healthy eating. Burning an extra 1500-2000 calories a week allows me a treat or two that I wouldn't be able to "absorb" normally. I definitely can't be "perfect" either!!
There's no such thing as perfect.
But there is beautiful, and that's what you are. Look at all you've done for yourself already! I am with you. I feel like if I slip up on my eating, then I might as well have more and more, but that's not the thing. It's to allow yourself the room to have that forbidden thing every now and then and not beat yourself up over it. Life is too short!
It always helps me so so much to plan my meals the day before! And while I am a newbie on this journey everyone's advice of not depriving myself has been really helpful.
Also working out helps me WANT to choose healthier foods. I don't want to put so much effort into working out just to ruin it with ice cream.
Rooting for you!
We have so many similarities. I struggle with this, too, however, I will say that when my band is tight enough, 90% of this struggle goes away as I can't even eat more than a scoop of ice cream. And I am NOT hungry. I hope this fill does that for you. I still have to think about it, but because I can eat so little, I don't have to focus on "good vs bad", I just focus on getting enough quality nutrition in, and whatever room is left can be for junk.
Moderation has always been my issue. Before I would eat, eat, and eat. Good foods but huge portions! Having the band has certainly helped with that for me! But I never deprive myself of something I want! Now I might have ice cream one day and be a little better the next but I taste everything I want!
Great quotes! I think moderation is key!
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