Boo. Hiss. Snarl.

Today has been a super craptastic day.

I feel like when I have a super good day like yesterday that of course the next day will suck donkey balls. 

I am feeling "bullet-ish" today so here are some bullet points.

• The start of my classes have been delayed AGAIN from tomorrow to next Tuesday.  I'm beyond pissed.  At first I was super excited I wouldn't have class this Saturday and then I got the full class schedule and the nice little almost two week break I was going to have inbetween classes in the beginning of May where I was going to take my two week vacation from work is no longer.  I need that vacation and now if I still take it I would be stuck going to class and we all know I'd end up skipping classes and screwing myself over with attendance issues.  ARGH.
• I'm waiting to hear on a position within my company that I interviewed for.  I really want it and I really want to know, my stomach has been in knots all week.
• The scale was up 1.1lbs today.  While I wasn't freaking out about this morning, everything else has piled up on me today and now it is irritating me.  It makes zero sense.  Stupid body.
• In a moment of weakness I bought a package of Reese's Pieces out of the vending machine.  I haven't eaten them yet because I feel extrememly guilty even though I could make them fit into my calories for the day.  I'm afraid if I eat them they will be my gateway food to other naughtly things. 
• This week has been so busy at work that it is not even funny.  I haven't been able to keep up with my work and it stresses me out to have it hanging over me.  I even came in early the last two days.  UGH.
• BLAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.
• Marc's big 30th birthday party is next Saturday and I still have so much stuff to finish before than that it is completely stressing me out.
• I am taking a night off from the gym.  I went 5 days in a row and I need a break.  My body hurts.
• Okay, I'm done.  I'm putting all this crap out into blog land and letting it go.

Happy Happy, Joy Joy.

I am on a roll. 

Last night at the gym I broke a personal record.  I usually do 1.04 miles in 15 minutes on the ellipitical, I haven't been able to break that.  Last night....1 mile in 14 minutes!  I did way over my personal best.  I was so proud of myself and wanted to cry but I held myself back so I could show my face in the elliptical row again.  After that I walked for 45 minutes, doing 47 laps which equals just over 2 miles on the track.  THEN...yes I was amazed at even myself...I swam for 30 minutes.  I am so close to reaching my 12 hours of exercise goal that I even walked for 20 minutes on my lunch today!!  I'm starting to crave going to the gym which is something I never thought would happen so I'm just going to keep going with it. 

The track is so good for me, I love it.  I kept up with this super skinny lady yesterday in one of those cute little workout outfits that I aspire to wear.  I kept up with her for like 7 laps, she was cruising too.  Even Marc noticed, he was walking slower because he pulled a muscle and when finished walking and he mentioned it to me.  He told me I was walking so fast and that my hair looked really good while I was walking.  LOL.  He said the bounce was good.  Made me feel good because I did have an excellent hair day yesterday and was glad someone noticed.

I was rewarded on the scale this morning....2.2lbs lost since yesterday and that puts me 2.2lbs away from 100lbs lost!  I really want to reach that by the weekend.  I am so in the weight loss zone right now it's a little scary.  I feel like a totally different person. 

I'm just so happy and accomplished this week.  Not feelings I'm used too.  I mean, I'm generally happy but I just feel so GOOD.  I like this feeling and it just keeps me wanting to exercise and count calories.  I'm actually hoping I don't have my internship tonight so that I can go to the gym again even though it's not a scheduled day!  Who would believe this is the same girl who hates to exercise??

Bunch of Random Thoughts

62 days until Memorial Day, how is everyone doing with their personal Memorial day goals? 

I'm doing very well.  I weighed in at 313.8lbs this morning.  Which means I'm only 4.4lbs away from 100lbs lost!  I can't wait to reach that very important milestone.  For my Motivation for Memorial Day goal, I'm 25.8lbs away.  I can so do it!

I also kicked butt at the gym this weekend.  According to my spiffy new calorie watch, during my 63 minute workout yesterday I burnt (burned? I dont' know what the right term is.  Both sound weird)1107 calories.  I have no idea how accurate this little doohickey is but it makes me feel good so I will continue to wear it even though it's super ugly.  I have held myself to my workout schedule going Friday, Saturday & Sunday.  I also am going today after work.  I think I might have to modify it a bit some weeks to accommodate my crazy work/school/internship schedule but I do promise myself that I will go 4x's a week for at least 45mins each time. 

The track at my gym really keeps me motivated.  I don't like it when people pass me so that makes me keep pushing myself to walk faster.  My competitiveness is out of control so I'm going to use it to my advantage working out.  I push myself much harder on the track than I do the treadmill which I like.

I'm starting to view my time at the gym as a time out from life which I completely need, I try not to think about the stressful things in my life or if I do, I try to just think about it and keep calm and usually I can come up with a solution or a different way of looking at it.  Just call me Rafiki.

My calorie totals for the weekend were good.  About 1500ish on Saturday which is over my 1200 but hey, it wasn't 2500.  I had lobster for dinner that night which is super low on calories which I love and I did something crazy good for myself.  I didn't put butter on my lobster and you know what!?!  It was still delightful and delicious.  Yay for saving myself a boat load of calories!

Yesterday was about 1700 which I was a little upset with but after my super awesome workout I am not going to beat myself up about it.  I did eat a wonderfully delicious grilled cheese sandwich with ham.  Oh my goodness, I wish I could eat one everyday.  I think I might allow myself a little more calories on the weekends if I need them and not feel guilty about them.

Do you all find that even though we eat less quantities of food now that you enjoy the quality of your food more?  I find myself buying tastier food lately instead of eating junk.  If I'm only going to eat around 1200 calories I want to make sure it taste good.  Does that make any sense?

One last thing, if you could please vote for me again!  You can vote once a day and I'd really love to not come in last place.  LOL!

Please Vote for Me!!

Hey Everyone!!  On my Simple Sweetness blog I'm a finalist for a contest.

Could you please go vote for me???

Please go vote for me!!

I'm a finalist at Saturday Mornings for my Rockin' Lobster Sliders.

Thank You!!!

I feel good.

Today my scale read....314.6lbs!

Woo Hoo!  I broke the 315lbs scale curse.  It seemed everytime I reached 315, I would jump back up.  

I also had a great workout today.  15 mins on the elliptical which equaled out 1.04 miles.  Very happy with that.  Then 20 mins of walking/jogging around the track and I did the laps that equaled a mile.  Then I came home and attempted yoga.   Not very successfully if I say so but at least I did that for another 30 minutes.  Yay me!!  65 minutes of exercise which is over my 45 minute goal on Fridays, Saturdays, Sundays & Mondays.   

Total calories for Thursday 3/24/11

1285 cals  /  40g fat   /  188 carbs  /  51g protein

It is much too hard for me to type out my food log everyday so I'm just going to post the totals.

I went over on my calories and carbs again but overall I'm happy with how I've been doing this week.  I am much more aware of what I'm eating when I log everything and I don't indulge in the mindless eating thing.  I just need to keep this up and I think I can if I stay in the right frame of mind.  I need to stay in this zen like state.  

Does anyone meditate out there?  I want some sort of meditation/zen like stress relief yoga.  The yoga dvds I have are way too intense still.  I want to work my body but I also want to use it for relaxation as well.  Do you have any dvds or programs to recommend??

3/23/11 Food Log & Unfill

March 23, 2011 Food Log

(Calories/Carbs/Fat/Protein)

Trader Joe's - Mini Brie Wheel, 25g          70  1g 6g 4g

Trader Joe's - Frozen Mango, 140g           90 21g 0g 1g

Shrimp - tails on, 3 oz                                90 0g 0g 20g

Cocktail Sauce, 18 g                               23 5g 0g 0g

Cucumber - Peeled, raw, 1 medium          24 4g 0g 1g

3 Cheese Ranch, 31 g                                70 2g 6g 0g

Barber Foods - Premium Entrees Stuffed Chicken Breasts Creme Brie & Apple, 1 piece (140 g/4 oz)

290 21g 14g 20g

Tyson Anytizers - Fajita Chicken Quesa Dippers, 4 pieces               

380 34g 18g 20g

Sour Cream, 60 g                                     50 6g 0g 4g

Honey Roasted Almonds, 1 oz                   160 9g 13g 5g

TOTAL: 1,247 calories 103g carbs 57g fat 75g protein

I was 47 calories over 1200 and 10g over on my fat target.  I'm pretty darn happy with these.  Especially since I ruined the other half of my dinner last night and was so tempted to go out get chicken fingers but I didn't.  I had the quesadillas instead.  Small victory for me. 

My feelings on my eating yesterday = thumbs up for me. 

I forgot to tell you all about my unfill on Monday.  If you remember, I hadn't eaten since Saturday night.  All day Sunday & Monday I couldn't eat or even keep water down.  My band has never been that tight before.  It was really scaring me.  I talked with the PA and went through the normal things that can cause band tightness and none of them applied to me.  No matter how tight I have been, I have always been able to at least drink.  The PA agreed I needed an unfill.  We went with 2ccs.  I know it's a lot but my fear was that I would get a little out and then be back at the office the next day still experiencing the same tightness.  So she took out 2ccs.  I was at 9.8ccs and now I'm at 7.8ccs.  Immediately, I felt relief.  I was able to drink some water and I ate when I got home and felt so much better.  I think since my last fill in January I have been battling being too tight.  Most mornings I can't even eat breakfast and sometimes it takes me 90 minutes to eat my lunch at work.  I think having this unfill was wise especially with my crazy school schedule starting next week.  I have been feeling hunger but it's not that much different from what I was experiencing before.  I'm just going to try to be really vigilant and keep counting those calories.  I think I will be fine with this amount of fill for right now.

I do have to go for an Upper GI tomorrow and possible other tests, just to check the placement of my band.  My PA seems pretty confident it is just a fluke and nothing serious but wants to check to be sure.  I am so not looking forward to that icky barium stuff.  Eww!

I hope everyone has a great Thursday!!  Tomorrow is Friday!!

Detox

I must detox myself off of take-out food YET AGAIN. 

Bah.  It is so frustrating to me even 18 months after surgery that I can't be trusted with take-out.  I had been doing so well, over 2 weeks without and then I cave and have it and now it is all I want.  I have spent most of my day obsessing over the chicken fingers from Longhorn Steakhouse.  I looked up the calories to help curb my craving (748 for just the chicken fingers in case you were wondering) and that is not even helping. 

I refuse to cave in though so I'm posting about it, that sometimes helps.

To get myself back on track I have come up with some Mini-Goals. 

*Log every little food morsel everyday on myfitnesspal.com. 

I just started using it yesterday instead of writing everything down and I love it so far.  You can even track exercise which I love. 

*Blog food log totals everyday. 

I need some accountability and if I know the whole blog world is going to be looking at it that will help me behave. 

*Exercise every Friday, Saturday, Sunday & Monday for at least 45 minutes. 

I have not been to the gym since last Tuesday.  Bad Leslie.

*Dig out my Yoga DVD. 

I've been wanting to do this for about 2 weeks.  I bought it right after my surgery and I just felt defeated by it so I want to dig it out and try again.  I think it would help me handle stress better.  I am going to do the DVD by the end of this weekend.

My scale has to start moving down, I just need to detox and get my head on straight again.